Life and Thoughts of The One Ocean: April 2007

The Superficial friends !

Gherkins ground 105-year-old

A 105-year-old Romanian has made his first ever trip to the doctors after eating a jar of gherkins past their sell-by-date.

Tudorica Anghel, from Iasi, took himself to St Spiridon Hospital telling doctors he'd had pains for two days and was worried it might be something serious.

But doctors who performed a full check-up on him said he was very healthy for his age, and that he was probably suffering from indigestion.

When they tried to access his records they found he had never been to a doctor in his life.

Doctor Diana Cimpoiescu, who treated Mr Anghel, said: "This was the first time in his life that he had come to a hospital.

"We did a full examination of him and apart from a bit of weak hearing he has nothing at all wrong with him. He is amazingly healthy for a man of his age."

Thursday 5th April 2007

Girl bites Hamburger

A German girl who could not get rid of a persistent admirer in a Hamburg disco unzipped his flies, pulled out his penis - and almost bit it in half.

Emergency services found the man clutching his blood-stained member in the middle of the dance floor.

Natascha Mueller, 23, told police: "I just wanted to dance and he kept coming alongside me and would not go away."

Her victim, Andreas Baum, 39, said: "She beckoned me over and told me 'I know what you need'.

"Then she unzipped my trousers and I thought it was Xmas, and then she bit me. The pain was incredible. She almost bit it off."

The young woman, who was arrested, was six times over the legal limit for driving when breath tested.

Tuesday 3rd April 2007

Woman steals car by mistake

A Romanian woman has turned herself in to the police after she mistakenly stole a car on her way home from church.

The woman told police she borrowed a car from a friend to go to an evening sermon in the town of Miercurea Ciuc, Harghita county.

After the service, the woman, whose identity was not revealed, went to what she believed was the same car, unlocked the doors, started the engine and drove back to her friend's house.

In the morning, the friend realised she had the wrong car in the garage and called the woman who realised her mistake and went to the police.

Local police confirmed the two cars of Romanian brand Dacia had the same colour and their keys fit one another.

The car's owner decided not to press any charges.

Tuesday 3rd April 2007

Gruesome April 1 prank

A Chinese man is divorcing his wife after she pretended to hang herself as an April Fool's joke

It happened when Mr Lin, of Shanghai, came home on April 1 after a business trip, reports the Shanghai Evening Post.

"When I opened the door, I saw a black object swinging in the air. When I turned on the light I was shocked to see my wife had hanged herself," he said.

Lin immediately called police and the property office. Office staff helped Lin take down the 'body' while waiting for the police.

"Suddenly, she sat up, started to laugh hysterically, and said this was my April Fool's Day present," says Lin angrily.

His wife, Han, a 26-year-old actress, is always playing jokes on Lin as a way of keeping the marriage fresh. She says: "I just try to surprise him everyday."

But Lin has has had enough: "I feel as if I'm sitting on a bomb everyday. We're getting divorced!

"I can't stand the jokes and games anymore. She hides the dishes in the washing machine, or changes the lock on the door, so that I can only enter by giving the correct answer to some stupid questions, and so on."

Tuesday 3rd April 2007

Rocket man!

The world's first commercially-available rocket pack is now on the market - for £130,000.

Inventor Juan Manuel Lozano says the hydrogen-peroxide powered backpacks, known as Rocket Belts, can propel the wearer to speeds of up to 60mph.

He claims the custom-made 800 horse-powered rockets will launch adrenaline junkies weighing up to 21st as high as 300ft.

The belt is a copy of the gadget created by Wendell Moore, an engineer at the American firm Bell Aerosystems, in 1961, reports the Daily Telegraph.

The original was used by Sean Connery as James Bond in Thunderball and was also flown in the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles.

It could carry a man 30ft into the air and reach a speed of up to 10mph. However, its flying time was limited to just 20 seconds.

Anyone who buys the new version will receive a machine to make its rocket fuel, hands-on training and 10 training flights. The firm also offers maintenance and 24-hour support.

Inventor, Juan Manuel Lozano, describes the Rocket Belt as "the most spectacular flying machine ever developed".

"The Rocket Belt came about as a result of my passion for speed and my love of motorcycles, racing cars, planes, boats, rockets," he said.

The Rocket Belts are available from www.tecaeromex.com.

Tuesday 3rd April 2007

World Bank loan for Porsche ambulances

Friday 30th March 2007

Bulgaria's cash strapped health ministry is using a World Bank loan to buy a fleet of luxury Porsche Cayennes to serve as ambulances.

Health Minister Radoslav Gaydarski said the 32 four wheel drive vehicles would be used in remote areas where normal vehicles normally could not travel.

He confirmed the cars had been purchased with a loan by the World Bank. The ministry said they had chosen the Porsches after the company offered what he insisted was the lowest bid in a tender offer.

But critics say the claim is rubbish, as each vehicle has a retail price of £80,000.

Locals are outraged by the news and claim the money could have been better spent.

Bulgaria's health sector is millions of pounds in debt and hospitals and clinics often blame a shortage of supplies and services on lack of funds.

Tooting man becomes Hindu Goddess

Friday 30th March 2007

An unemployed Tooting man has found work at last - as an Indian Goddess who thousands of Hindus believe can cure infertility.

Pilgrims head to a remote jungle temple to be blessed by Steve Cooper, 32, from South West London, reports The Sun.

Surrounded by followers, Steve declared: "I love being here. I don't miss anything about Tooting."

He is regarded as a reincarnation of Bahucharaji, the patron of Indian eunuchs. He has been at the temple in the northern state of Gujarat for three months.

Every time Steve walks through the local village, people flock to greet him, shouting: "Jay Bahuchar Ma" - "The goddess is here."

Steve calls himself Pamela. But his devotees have dubbed him Prema - Hindi for Divine Love.

He said: "All my life I just didn't fit. Now I've found my life. I plan to stay for good. I couldn't leave now."

Steve was living in a tiny flat in Tooting until deciding on his new career after Indian friends told him he looked and moved just like the ancient goddess.

Steve said: "I feel as if I have come home. I was meant to be here. When I first came to the temple, I sat down and smiled. Everything fell into place.

"After about 20 minutes everyone crowded around and I naturally started blessing people. When I touch people I connect with them."

Life and Thoughts of The One Ocean

Thursday, April 05, 2007