The Advise email !
Well I just received an email full of so much worldly advise LOL... enjoy:
Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not as emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact.
Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.
Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.
Q: How long should the sex act last?
A: This is a natural & normal part of nature, so don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. After you've finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly, & go out with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol & sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don't feel left out -- while he's gone you can busy yourself by doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He'll come back when he's ready.
Q: What is "afterplay"?
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for you to do after lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.
Q: Does the size of the penis matter?
A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male penis measures about three inches. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is 4 inches or over,you should go down on your knees and thank your lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment and/or buying him an expensive gift.
Q: What about the female orgasm?
A: What about it? There's no such thing. It's a myth.
That one fine day!
Alas, that my heart is a lute, Whereupon you have learned to play!
For many years it was mute, Until one summer's day
You took it, and touched it, and made it thrill
And it thrills and throbs, and quivers still!
~Anne Lindsay
(1750-1825)
English Poet
Just when I thought I had seen everything!
I was faced with this grotesque image...
Now I know that technically speaking I only usually share the good stuff in my life with others but this was just way too disturbing and I really don’t think I ever did anything in my life to see this... SO whoever out there wished upon me to see such a terrible and hideous image…. This one’s for you!
DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE SERIOUSLY DISGHUSTED!!!!
It's only fair that you must suffer through the pains of seeing this aswell!
If I had this warning, before the link... And knew about the nature of the disturbing image behind it.... I would've neevr clicked on it! eeeeuuuuuuggghhhh!!!!!!
She called it love!
I guess she must be Right!
$1 for a poem more crazy than this !
My Witch!
They see only a witch, when they look at you with your broom
Struggling hard to get to know you
Never finding out who you truly are
But when I see you smile
I see the Angel you hide inside
The one who stole my heart
How could they ever see,
even guess or get to know
That you're the one who makes my days
brighen up with your crazy ways
The one who makes my world go round
who brings the rainbows in my black & white
My Northstar in the darkest of nights,
my morning breeze at every dawn
They'd never know, where you came from
and they'd keep wondering when you go home
was it your hair or was it your eyes?
or the way you looked at them that gave them the fright?
They'd never know your truth
as you leave on your broom
the truth you hide inside
of that love so divine
with a smile on your face you'll come back home
and i'll be waiting there for you, with my open arms
"Welcome Home Honey" I'll tell you with a kiss
and just hold you close with my arms around your waist
~* Psycho Wabbit *~
Reflecting...
Sometimes we get so consumed in our daily lives that unless the people that we care about, are providing up with physical & visual proof of their love, we tend to forget about them. Once this happens; there is no harm in recognizing how self-centered we have become.~Psycho Wabbit
Another Beautiful Poem
Love's Philosophy
By Percy Bysshe Shelly
(1792-1822)
The fountains mingle with the river,
And rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever with sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by law divine In one another's being mingle;--
Why not I with thine?
See the mountains kiss high heaven
And the waves clasp one another
No sister flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And sunlight clasps the earth;
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;
What are all these kissings worth
If thou kiss not me?
Song of the Day!
NUMB by Linkin Park
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I knowI may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
What I learnt today!
inure: to use till gives little or no pain or inconvenience.
levity: an inappropriate lack of seriousness.
our bodies are gardens to which our wills are gardners.
~William Shakespeare.
Every hero becomes a bore at last.
~Ralph Emerson.
imbroglio: a complicted and embaressing state of things.
bonhomie: pleasant and easy manner geniality.
Couple of my own...
Life is like the sound of music, if you don't listen carefully, you miss some beautiful notes that wont ever repeat.
~Psycho Wabbit
Happiness is, my soul, when I touch yours
~Psycho Wabbit
